Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I’ve been thinking on this verse quite a bit lately. Especially at 3am when I can’t sleep, and that’s been several nights over the past month. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people who is very unpleasant when tired or hungry. So the lack of sleep thing isn’t fun. And really, neither is the worrying, the fretting, and the trying to figure things out that I’ve been doing lately. So I’ve also been thinking a lot about the reason why God instructed us to “lean not on our own understanding.” My way of understanding how things are right now has not been helpful; it’s only leading to frustration. Yet it’s also dawning on me that we can only do so much before exhaustion sets in, and I know that God hasn’t called us to be exhausted. Nor do I believe that God has called us to work every day of the week – that’s why He gave us the Sabbath. So that we’d rest, and sometimes I wonder if we can be so faithful and work so hard that we almost don’t make room for God to give us rest. Does that make sense?
When I think about my job as Ryder’s mom, I think about how one of my main “jobs” is to protect him from things that might hurt him. He’s too young to know what is harmful, so I watch out for things that could be dangerous. And one of those things is fatigue. A child who is overly tired is a very unhappy child. And after too many days of being overly tired, the child’s health can be affected. As adults, we’re supposed to take care of ourselves and make sure we get enough rest. Really, that’s just common sense. But sometimes, when you’re working hard to care for your family, working hard to pay the bills, working hard to do what you’re suppose to do, you can just fall into a place where it’s not enough. The job isn’t paying good, the hours are long, but they’re not enough, and on it goes. Yet I believe that God rewards faithfulness. I also believe that He rewards patience (but in my case, we won’t go there), and I believe that He also longs for His kids to depend on Him more than on what they can do for themselves. So as I ponder all of this, I’m starting to put 2 and 2 together.
Throughout this summer, I’ve wondered when it’s faith to take a big step out and trust God to meet us, and when it’s just foolishness to take such a big step that it would obviously cause us to fall on our face. Does that make sense? I know that wisdom and a lot of prayer need to be involved, but I also know that in the end, we can only do so much before we need God to take over.
And basically, I’m just writing a lot of jibberish . . . it’s due to being tired. Yet this what I’ve been pondering lately. And my son has figured out that he’s tall enough to crawl into the trash, so I think that mommy’s blogging time is over . . . the rest will have to be continued at a later date.