[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] M[/dropcap]y second born had a fabulous birthday yesterday. He is Mr. Easy Going, and he would have been happy with just his Captain America cake and a Bumblebee Transformer. Yet he also got “The Gruffalo” movie and a few books, and he was happy, happy. I was completely happy to attempt his cake, but I will say that it was a lot of work. I didn’t even own round cake pans, so I was out at 9pm on Wednesday shopping for the right pans. Then I stayed up till 11:30 to make the completely homemade cake (why do I do these things?). And of course, one of the cakes fell apart when I took it out of the pan. I waited till nap time yesterday to tackle the frosting, and it was so hot in our house that the frosting ran everywhere. Big sigh . . . so it was what it was. The perfectionist side of me was embarrassed to show it to anyone. BUT I got two big “OHHHH, Captain America!!” exclamations when the boys saw the cake, so that made it all right. And my husband said it was the best tasting strawberry cake he’d ever had. So that made all of the work and the less than perfect outcome more than good enough for me.
And I woke up this morning with the the realization that I keep getting the overwhelming feeling of “gotta do more, gotta be more.” This perfectionist tendency is really a battle for me, and it seems to hit most when I’m largely pregnant and tired. Baby Girl has kept me up most nights as she’s been laying so low; the mid-wife thinks it’s time for her to get head down so that both she and I will be more comfortable. If only we could just make that happen. So the mid-wife also recommended that I start going to the pool to relieve all the pressure from the baby’s laying right in my lap. Truthfully, I wanted to look at her and say, “do I look like someone who should be getting in a swimsuit right now?” But I didn’t, because I know she’s trying to help. Anyway, so this needing to do and be more kicks in right when I’m actually physically able to do less. Funny how that happens. And I just happened to remember that I had written a blog post on this very topic at some point in the past. I couldn’t remember when I wrote it, but funnily enough, when I reread it, I noticed it had been about 3 months before E was due. Right around the same timing that I’m in now with this pregnancy. You can read the post, (http://micahsheart.com/gotta-do-more-gotta-be-more/), if you’d like, but the thing that struck me as I read it is the last paragraph:
And maybe the baby should actually be named some variation of joy and rest?? Just a thought . . .
We actually ended up with a name that means “God’s gracious help,” which I felt we so needed at the time of E’s birth. And I really do feel that God has been just that to us. I love the name and the meaning, and E is so joyful and he rests so easy. God knew exactly what we needed when He gifted us with our second son. It blesses me to look back and see God’s hand in all of it.
And with this baby, we named her several years ago when we were living in England and considering the start of trying to have our first baby. I always thought I would have girls, so we were discussing girl names while driving past the River Eden in Mark’s hometown. I just happened to say “hey, what about Eden?” He immediately like it, and it went from there. Her full name will actually mean “beautiful paradise or delight,” but I’ve come to realize that Eden actually has a deeper meaning. In fact, it is even used as a verb in the Old Testament –
This verb is used only once: In Nehemiah 9:25 it reads, “…and luxuriated in Thy great goodness.”
I’ve been praying that God would give us a bit of a glimpse into what this baby’s purpose is, what her unique personality and giftings will be, and I haven’t gotten much. But what has struck me is that she will be a reminder to us that we’re to luxuriate (take delight) in the great goodness of God. And He’s been so good to us and to Baby E throughout this pregnancy. I pray that she will always know and recognize His goodness in her life as well. I also pray that because of God’s work in her life and in her being she will be one in whom the beauty and pleasure/delight of God will be clearly seen. I pray that she will just allow God to flow through her and that all of her beauty will just be a reflection of His. I’ve also been praying that her brothers will enjoy her as much as we will.
And so, in conclusion, rather than going with this instinct to be more and do more, I’m choosing to just focus on His goodness. Just as I carry this baby, He carries us. My flesh may say that I’m not doing enough, but I can choose to go with what my spirit says which is that resting in Him is what is needed. Dwelling in His goodness is the better place to be. Gotta delight more, gotta dwell more . . . for He is good. Happy Friday . . .