I have a rare opportunity to blog, so I’m going to take it. Not that I have a lot to say, but we’ll see.
Needless to say, November was a big month for us. Buying a house and finding out that a baby is on the way are both big events in life. So far, December has been big as well. We just found out that Mark has been approved to get a temporary (2 year) work permit. He can use this to get a job and work until his greencard comes through in March or April. We don’t actually have the permit yet, but it should be here this month. That’s really big news for Mark. That means completing his resume (CV), looking for a job, sending out his resume, and interviewing. It also means that we’ve got to get him some new clothes too. However, we’ve also found out that our car needs major work, so maybe we’ll wait on the clothes . . . ?
I’ve learned a lot through this whole thing. First, it’s not a good idea to move when you’re newly pregnant. I completely exhausted myself and caused my body a lot of problems. But it did get us into the doctor early, and we got to see/hear the baby’s heartbeat at 6 weeks and 2 days. That is quite amazing! To see such a tiny thing with heartbeat is very surreal. Second, I’m really learning to trust God more and more. More on that later. Third, I’ve seen more and more how much God really loves us. His heart is entirely for us. That has been a big revelation to me. I’ve always had this mentality that I have to be a good girl to keep His love. Yet I’m realizing that He just loves me. I’ll always be a good girl, because I just don’t have a desire to disobey Him. But I’m realizing that His love isn’t conditional. That has been VERY GOOD for me to learn. I needed to learn it a long time ago.
And lastly, I’m also learning a lot about myself. In many ways, I have to fight a lot of fear about becoming a parent. I’ve had to fight the fear of miscarrying since the weekend that we moved. And now, as I feel great on most days, I still fight that fear as I don’t feel pregnant. It seems like my pregnancy symptoms are different every day, and that is really hard for my brain. I like patterns, and I like consistency. I think I also like to see or feel something in order to know that it’s real. In other words, I don’t get an A in the faith area. It’s hard for my brain to grasp the fact that a little body is growing inside me. All I really get is that I just feel off. So I’m learning about faith. I’m realizing that trusting this baby to the Lord is only the beginning. I’ll be trusting my entire pregnancy to Him, the birth to Him, the baby’s health to Him, and my child’s entire life to Him. It feels like a lot. 🙂 I think I’m in for a lot of stretching and a lot of growing (both physically and spiritually).
I’m also learning that I have a long way to go in the area of patience. My husband always gives so much patience. He has a lot of grace for me. I, on the other hand, have a lot of room to grow. I’ve heard that having a child really tests your patience, but really, I’m hoping that I learn to have lots more patience through this whole thing. Just the fact that I’ve got a little under 7 months more to wait to see this baby will be quite trying . . . .
Anyway, overall, it’s been a good year. I’m excited to see what job Mark gets. I’m so happy that he’s adjusting well here. I’ll miss him when he’s at work. But I know that he’ll be happy working. I’m excited to see what this new year brings. I’m looking forward to growing in many areas. I’m really excited about Christmas. I’m loving my time with my family and friends. Loving my church and looking forward to getting more involved. And I’m feeling at home with my job, so that is also a bonus. Plus, our house no longer looks like a bomb exploded in it. Finally, it’s looking a bit like a home. 🙂 We really are blessed.