[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] I[/dropcap]t’s been really hard to write over the past few weeks as a.) I’m not at a computer screen that is any bigger than 10 inches and b.) there’s just too much going on in my head. Not to mention that I’m doing childcare around the clock. Eden is on an eat every three hours schedule, and the boys eat, play, need something from 7am to 9pm. Not much Mommy time in between. Thankfully though, I did get quiet time on the way to the dentist and on the way to my two week follow up appointment with the midwife. I’ll take quiet time in any form I can get it, so I actually feel more at peace this week than last.
I will say the biggest change between having two kids to three kids is that the amount of work, noise, and activity feels multiplied by 10. There’s zero hope of having a perfectly clean house, and the chances of something being burned while cooking dinner is high as I’m also helping multiple hands, feet, and mouths. It’s a lot . . . I’ll feel really good when we’re all in school, work, daycare schedules/routines, and when a trip to the grocery store doesn’t feel like a full family event.
And as if there’s not enough going on, there’s my body to care for and to get back into shape. My stomach has needed rehab for quite some time, but as the midwife communicated to me today, now is the time when I have to do it. As silly and costly as physical therapy sounds, it’s become a must if I ever want to be able to use my stomach muscles again. The husband and I both need to go back to watching what we eat, finding time to exercise, and making quiet/devotional time a priority. We need a schedule. We need some order in the midst of the chaos; it’s just finding the time to do so.
We also have some goals/prayer items that we really want to seek the Lord on, and ideally, we would seek together. But together time hasn’t been priority either . . . and I know all this will come with time. The chaos that we’re in now will slowly get balanced out.
For now though, as I bake and think, cook and think, spend my nights up with a newborn and praying, I will say that I’m so thankful for music and times of worship. I think that’s the one thing that consistently gets me through all things in life. Worship music and time spent dwelling in worship is vital. I also think that my desire for a more simple life with less stuff, less clutter, and less demands is going to get stronger and stronger. We really seem to be in a season where God is pinpointing or highlighting areas that we should pursue, but it’s so easy to be distracted or to let fatigue get in the way. The more I de-clutter, the more I feel like we can think and get focused. So as sad as it is to say goodbye, the boys’ baby clothes are finally going. Anything from 1o or 15 years ago is going, and anything we just don’t need is also going. As much as I like to remember the past, it’s time to move forward. It’s time to get free of all things that clutter and distract.
And this is just the top of the iceberg as far as thoughts go, but at least I’m getting back into writing again.
Leaving you with a photo of my beautiful girl. I could stare at her all day . . . it’s quite easy to spoil this one as we find ourselves napping with her, staring at her, talking to her, and just taking in every part of her. We’re so blessed.