So on average I have a pretty good memory. I’m not a typically scatterbrained or forgetful person . . . until lately. Holy smokes, man. If my brain was not attached, I’m sure it would get left behind on most days as I can’t keep up with myself let alone my husband and my children. So when my boys bring home notes from school that say that Ezra has crazy sock day on Thursday and pajama day next Tuesday and Ryder has class pictures, has to compete in a poetry contest, late start day, etc., I’m just like hello where is our household manager?! Then I remember that I’m actually the household manager, and if we remember pajama day, then great. If we forget, oh well.
We simply have far too much going on right now, and the main thing that I’m learning right now is that it’s time to just let the little things go. For instance, when it comes to making great, healthy, flavor filled dinners for my family, I’m usually happy to spend time doing menu plans, trying new recipes, and taking an hour to cook a great meal. Yet right now, I can’t even get a train of thought together, let alone pull off a menu plan! So if it’s pizza one night or a frozen burrito for one lunch or if the kids take corn muffins and applesauce to school, then so be it. It’s not the end of the world, nor will we live like this forever. It’s just temporary. We’re in a season of life that is simply that – a season. It will pass. We will get this house packed up, move (probably more than once), find a place to settle in, and then get a new routine. That season will come. But I’m not in that season; I’m in this crazy, busy, full of change season, which requires flexibility, good listening skills, obedience, and a willingness to just be led by the Lord.
And I think that in letting the small things go, I have to also let go of the perfectionist and replace her with grace. Receiving grace for our mistakes is often more difficult than giving it to others. And yet, both are so necessary. Mark and I learning that in times of stress our communication suffers, so we have to work extra hard to communicate, have to give and receive grace, have to let each other know when we’re really feeling the pressure, and above all, just let love cover all things. If we can grow in grace and love through this season, I know it will carry on into the next and even aid in our transition to our next season.
Lastly, I really have no idea where I’m going with this, so I’ll just say this –
Seasons of transition + uncertainty are definitely the hardest for me. We’re committed to Edinburgh, yet we’re desperately needing to sell our house, which is requiring a lot of work and time that we just don’t have. So we’re trying to do what we can and hope that’s enough to get the house sold at a price that pays off our debt. Then we’ll be free for Mark to look for a job in Edinburgh, which he has to find prior to applying for my visa. We’re under the gun to do that, yet we’re trapped with the house and our time commitments. Then we haven’t raised enough money for our move, so we also need to be working more on fundraising. Yet when? Between the hours of 11pm and midnight? So it’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. We know we’re to go, yet we’re trudging through a muddy swamp that feels like it’s sucking the life out of us. And yet we know that God sees all and knows all. So it’s a one day at a time, trusting God for guidance/provision, seeking His face, keeping our eyes on Him, and just yielding. We’re doing our best to hit our goal of moving by this summer, and all we can do is keep going with full faith that He will get us through to the goal.
So as always, prayer is always appreciated. We’re definitely feeling tired, and mentally, we’re ready to get this house on the market as it feels a bit like a ball and chain right now. And that’s hard to say as we love this house, but we just know it’s time to move forward. We are ready for the next chapter; living between chapters can only last for so long.