This month has flown by and with it have come many changes. I’m now working two jobs; partly from home, partly at night, and with all the flexibility I need. It’s the first time in my journey as a mom that I’ve been home with my kids all day long, and I can’t say it’s been easy! Nor do I really recommend having three little ones in four years. My hands are definitely full as the baby (who’s not really a baby anymore) is into everything, the 3 year old is being a typical 3 year old as his curiosity and naughtiness have hit a new level, and my oldest is just being himself. The combo of the three means standing at the cashier in Vitamin Cottage, trying to balance the baby and pay, and meanwhile, the boys are slugging each other until one ends up on the floor wailing. I have to then attempt to carry/drag one out, tell the other he is in big trouble, and carry the baby + groceries. There is no pride left in this mama . . .
Anyway, so in the midst of all of this, it’s been hard to get online for any purpose other than paying bills, working, or checking social media for all of two minutes. I really do want this blog to stay alive though, so for anyone who is still reading, here’s where it’s at:
On Sunday my dad preached a message on the hand of the Lord, favor, anointing, and the instances of where those things are recorded in the Bible. How God anointed so-and-so . . . and that’s what gave the person the power and ability to fulfill the purpose of God. In every case, the person was an average, seemingly unqualified individual that was just chosen by God to do something for Him. It was a very timely sermon as I feel so over my head right now. I’ve been appointed the “director” of the church’s Bible college, and here I can’t even successfully take my kids to Vitamin Cottage! Ha!! Talk about unqualified. I do the accounting for a marketing firm, and I forgot to pay my mortgage last month. I have to teach at the Bible college, and there’s not many subjects that I’m an expert in. The only class I could confidently teach is “How to parent and not lose your mind.”
So I can absolutely say that right now what I need most is to just seek the Lord, trust Him with all I’ve got, and just obey Him. I woke up with these lyrics in my head this morning: “the more I seek You, the more I find You.” And that’s so my heart. I just want to follow Him. Walk so closely that I can hear Him say, “Mic, do this. Mic, what about saying this instead . . . Mic, just listen.” You know? I’m just very aware that without Him I can do nothing of my own that is of any worth. Without Him, I blow it big time, and I say that confidently as I have done some seriously stupid things over the past month. And I’m learning and receiving grace as I move on from my stupidity. But I’m also wise enough to know now that I HAVE to seek Him. I have to put major priority on time spent with Him as I don’t even know how to proceed through my day; if I attempt my day without Him, it’s just utter chaos.
Yet at the same time, I know I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I know many people believe that moms should just be moms who stay at home and just focus on raising their kids. Our finances have never allowed that for me, and now I’m actually doing something that I really love and am heading in a direction that is so much my heart’s desire. I know I’m entering a season of learning how to juggle things well and a season of knowing what is priority and what is not. And I think that’s why I desire to be so close to the Lord that I feel His direction so clearly, because I want to honor my husband and my children as they are my priority. Yet He is also my priority and my heart so longs for people to KNOW Him. I know that God honors my heart and is directing us into this season, so He knows how to teach me to balance it all well.
Lastly, I had to run to the dentist yesterday as my front tooth has been in some major pain; long story short, after discussing orthodontics (AGAIN!!), solutions on how to sort my teeth out, and do it all before returning to the UK, my dentist, who has known me since I was six, asked if I would be teaching at the Bible school. I replied that I would, and his response blessed me so much. He told me he was very glad to hear it as I have so much in me that needs to be taught. Hello?! That’s such a God thing as I needed to hear that, and the Lord knows it. Encouragement is so needed in all of our lives, and it blessed me to hear his simple statement. It also challenged me to really trust God in this season; put all that I have and all that I am in just trusting and obeying Him. He’s got it; He’s not leading me in this direction only to have me fall flat on my face. He has confidence in me, and He knows I can do it. I can do all things well when I allow Him to be my strength, when I rely on Him, and when I confidently lean in on Him.
And I wish I could word this post so much better than I am right now, but my to do list is a mile high, the baby needs a diaper change, and the earwigs are overtaking my kitchen . . . so I will leave you with a photo of my almost one year old. She is super into cars, trucks, and all things boy related as we’ve never bought her any girly toys. So thank goodness that her birthday is approaching as we need to get some pink, girly toys in this house. And like her mama, she apparently has dreams of being a super hero . . . or of just doing something super with her life. 😉