I hate waiting. I’ve spent far too much of my life waiting . . . for a husband, for a baby, for the second baby, for my dream job, for my dream house (which is not about the house but the location of the house), and on it goes. Thankfully, I’m one that stays busy in the waiting. So it’s not wasted time. However, it’s still frustrating.
Lately though, I keep hearing the words “ye have not because ye ask not.” And I’m one of those people who dislikes those who make demands. I don’t like asking for things. I don’t like having to ask for things; in fact, I’d rather go without if I have to ask for it. Yet I’m realizing that in my walk with God it’s okay to ask. In fact, I can feel free to ask. He knows that I want His best, so what I want is second to what He wants. Therefore, it frees me to ask for His will. And so I’ve been asking.
Yet I’m still needing something to occupy me while I wait. So I’ve considered hobbies. I need to find a hobby. Maybe take a class? But no, the classes I want to take cost money. How about quilting? I’ve always wanted to make quilts. But then I need a sewing machine . . . which costs money that we don’t have. So maybe sewing lessons so that I can then hand sew a quilt . . . . yeah, I can’t still long enough to sew by hand. So maybe cooking lessons . . . if I can find any that are cheap and that are beyond the basics as I’m already a fairly good cook. In the meantime as I look for a place that offers cooking classes, I just read book after book after book, which then increases my hunger for the thing that I’m waiting for. So back to square one we go . . . and on and on it goes.
Hence the title “sheesh.” Man, I need patience.