[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] I [/dropcap] used to read the advice that said you’re lucky/blessed if you’ve had five close friends in your LIFETIME, and I would think, what? that’s crazy. I’ve always had great friends around; I’ve never lacked for friends. Then we got married, and I moved to the other side of the world. It was a very new season of learning a culture and making new friends. I was the quiet American who struggled to start up a conversation. And yet somehow, it happened. We made friends. We did just fine. Fast forward two years later, and we’re living in the town where I went to high school and going to the church that I grew up in. Friendships should have been even easier, yet they haven’t been. Two years more, and I feel like I have less friends than I’ve ever had. Weird.

I’ve come to realize that we’re gifted with those close friends who stay close friends no matter what the season in life or where we live. I’ve also realized that it’s vital to maintain a good friendship with your spouse as it makes marriage more fun. πŸ˜‰

And I’ve learned a lot about myself and friendships over the past couple of years. I’ve realized that I’ve changed a lot, yet with some friendships, that hasn’t mattered at all as the friends and friendships have changed with me. In other cases, it’s made a huge difference as those friendships are nothing that they used to be.

I’ve also learned that I don’t like the busyness of the American life. We much prefer the slower pace of British life. Due to our busyness, we find ourselves constantly choosing between social activities and family time. We don’t get much family time in general, so that’s becoming our main priority. As snobby as I feel and as sad as it makes me feel that we’re always rushing to and from church or to and from any activity, it’s just a fact of life as we’re always short on time.

Yet as a social introvert, I also find that I miss having friends. I miss chatting, miss adult time, miss coffee dates and shopping. Yet it’s just not for right now.

So I’m thankful for my close friends who take the time to call, email, or just stop by facebook to say hi. Thankful that our friendships don’t change. If we move to the UK, France, or the Amazon, we’ll still make it work. πŸ˜‰

And I’m also thankful for my parents and sister as their friendships are priceless.

3 thoughts on “seasons of friendship

  1. Amen, amen & amen. I may not be a social introvert but I can definitely relate, Mic, to everything you shared in this post. You know this because I've shared it with you before. If you let it, it can make you lonely & bitter (been there, done that, speaking from experience here) & if you ever want to know how I deal with it, let me know & I'll share my secret πŸ™‚ Daily, I lament the busyness of American life. It's a heartache of mine & I think that I'll forever miss the slowness (sometimes super irritating)of Africa but everyone had time to live & enjoy life & relationships over there. And, yes, you're super blessed with an incredible sister & parents!

  2. Thanks Tirz. I know you can relate. And I should have rephrased "social introvert" as I'm very social AND an introvert. If that makes sense. I don't feel bitter at all. I pretty much agree with all you wrote.

  3. Well said. I also think that if you are thrown into a different culture and become part of an expat community it is somewhat easier to make friends–no one has any familial connections and thus friends become like family. Life does move slower in certain places where communal living–not independent living–is more valued. I'm not saying one is better than the other; both are needed. But what I am saying is the only person I have power to change or be is myself. And I am incredibly thankful for the friends that I have…even though I don't have any close ones in Kansas. πŸ˜‰

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