A friend of mine sent a very powerful link from the pastor of Hillsong’s New York City church. Haven follows a lot from Hillsong, but I don’t as I’m not online nor do I have any Christian TV channels. However, I might start. 🙂
The link today was about how Jesus commanded us to go and make disciples. He didn’t say go and enjoy your Christian life. He didn’t say go and win souls. He said go and MAKE DISCIPLES. It took Jesus three years of living, walking, eating, fellowshipping, training His disciples to become the men of God that they did become. He lost one in the process, but his small group turned into a group of 70 then 120 then the first church and then on and on it went. Jesus is our example, and He lived to make disciples.
When one grows up in church, at every church meeting, at home dealing with church issues, watching people come and go, watching church leaders, etc., you get a different view on church life. It’s a unique view that no one else but a pastor’s kid gets. And it’s one that requires that we guard our hearts as it could be easy to become very jaded. Church isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, but for some reason, the pastors get all the blame for it. And that’s always grieved me, because I saw what the pastors put in. And I saw how they got treated for it. I also saw how few people were dedicated and saw the church as THEIR body. I saw how easy people throw off the blame and how easy people make excuses. No one is busier than your pastor. No one has less of a family than your pastor. “Oh, but he gets paid to do that . . . ” You want to know how much he gets paid? You want to know how much of his own time he sacrifices? Would you want the responsility that he has and will be accountable for?Yeah, you don’t really . . .
And sorry, I’m going off on a rant. So focusing back to me and the point of all this. Now that I’m living in my own home, away from my pastor, I find that I honestly could very easily give in to just staying home, just living my life, just minding my own business. However, I’d have to do it at the expense of my conscience and while ignoring the Holy Spirit’s urging. I’d also feel like some part of me was experiencing death as there’s no life if we’re not pouring out. The Christian life is a continual process of putting good stuff in and letting good stuff out. Nothing in life offers that same process. The world puts garbage in and lets garbage out, because that’s all they know. They don’t know that there’s any better way. They won’t know unless we pour out on them. The Holy Spirit has to be poured out through us. And that requires time for us to spend with Him, time to let Him do His work, and time spent pouring out on others.
So as I fight exhaustion, feel like this baby is getting a bit heavy to carry, feel like my toddler is needing some good training, and feel like my husband and my house are being neglected, I also realize that when I’m growing and blooming spiritually everything around me grows. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you” is not just a saying or a kid’s Bible verse to memorize. It’s instruction for every day life. It’s how we accomplish what God has called us to, it’s how we live the abundant Christian life, it’s how we live satisfied. But more than that it’s an eternal, purpose given commandment. So I may not be able to drag my big body to every meeting that’s happening at church this weekend, but I am going to do my best. I am going to make myself available to serve. And I am going to seek His kingdom and His heart first. I’d rather get to heaven exhausted and hear “Well done!!!”, then get to heaven as a Christian but have to watch and hear as my Father says “well done” to others but not me.