Just as a follow up to many of my recent blogs, I wanted to share a few things from this past weekend. Our church had a special speaker over the weekend. We had a Friday night service, Saturday morning women’s service, Saturday night service, and Sunday services. Talk about a busy weekend. We made it to all but the Saturday night service, which we ended up napping through. And I heard it was the best service of all . . . teaches you not to nap, hey? 🙂
I had volunteered to watch the babies during the Saturday morning service, so I drug my tired body up and over to church. The other volunteer and I both left our kids at home so that in the off chance that no one brought their kids we could attend the service (we both really wanted to). And no one did bring their kids, so we got to go and listen. That service blessed me especially as it had to do with shaking off our mourning clothes and putting on our gifts and callings. The speaker gave direct instruction on how to do that and why we should do that. As I’m listening, I was like Lord, I know this is for me. But all the notes that I took, all the words I’ve been given throughout my life, all of Your direction, all of my dreams from You were written as notes on my laptop, which was stolen. So I have nothing but vague memories. I have no starting place of even who I was, who I am, or who I’m supposed to be. It’s all been forgotten or buried as I’ve just been a working mom. So what do I do? I don’t know who I am anymore, and I’m too old now to do what I’ve always wanted to do. Yet while I was thinking those things, the speaker kept saying, “it’s not too late!” “The gifts and callings of God are irrevocable!”
And throughout the weekend services, He answered in more ways than one. He showed me that it’s time to start seeking His heart regarding why He created me. What am I uniquely made for? What gifts and callings did He ordain for me? I can be a wife and mom, I can work, and I can fulfill His purpose. And I’m too old, nor have I been disqualified because of my circumstances.
BUT I do need to seek Him. I need to move as He moves, flow as He flows, and be led by Him, which requires daily intimacy with Him. And for a busy mom, that is not always easy, but how badly do I want it?
Lastly, long story short, but I just wanted to add to my previous post that God has been blessing the socks off our church as He’s been adding people who are on fire, supporting my dad and the pastoral staff, and are so raring to go. They’ve got the heart and vision for reaching Boulder and the lost in our communities. It is so exciting! And it blesses me so much when I hear them say to my dad, “Pastor, we are here to hold you up.” That is such the right heart!! It blesses me . . . that is the way that the church body is supposed to work.
So as we wait for this baby, my spirit is churning, things are being stirred up within me, and I’m like okay, God, I’m ready . . . so I’m going to need a quick recovery from labor and delivery, and I guess we’ll just have to take Ezra into whatever You’re calling us into. He knew this baby was coming just as He knew that it was time for me to get a renewed purpose, a renewed vision, and a renewed walk. And with all the words that have come forth for Ezra, I think this little guy is ready too. 😉 Exciting times!