A while back I wrote about the Proverbs 31 woman and how I am not her. 🙂 Well, I’ve been challenged to be her. Not be her in the sense of be a perfect mom, wife, household manager, etc., but challenged in the sense that God has equipped us with what we need in order to wear all that hats that we as moms wear. And truthfully, it’s been really hard to accept that. I’ve bucked under the idea that I can successfully maneuver through working, childrearing, budgeting, cooking, cleaning, etc. and still be me. Does that make sense? I’ve struggled in finding the balance between the dreams and desires that God’s put on my heart and the day in and day out duties that have to be done. I feel like the laundry gets priority over anything that I would like to do . . . 🙂 Yet God has shown me areas of laziness and areas where I could do better. He’s showing me that I could manage my time better; I could still manage the laundry pile and get a few moments to do some things that my heart longs to do. He’s also showing me that the job of raising two sons in the Lord is one of the most important jobs I’ll ever have. I only get 18 years to do it and do it well. Yet He’s also showing me that in taking on the role of wife and mom the person of Micah is not lost. The giftings and callings are not forgotten. Some may be for a season, some may be done in ways I hadn’t considered before, and some may be for after my kids are grown.

BUT the real challenge is in living purposefully, not haphazardly. The real challenge for me is also to not get overwhelmed by it all as it’s tiring. I’ve been more exhausted this year than ever. A big part of that is that Mark and I don’t get much time off from work, but another part of that is that I really have to take things one bit at a time or I overwhelm myself. I also need to learn to say no to people, and I need to have a list of priorities in front of me at all times. If my plate is overloaded because I’m saying yes to everyone and don’t need to be, then that’s my own fault.

So I’m looking at the lovely Proverbs 31 lady in a new light. She’s there to remind me to not waste time, to not waste my talents, and to not neglect priorities. She’s NOT there to remind me of what a daily failure I am. 🙂 She’s there to encourage us, not to deflate us.

And someone from church sent this to me this morning –

“Don’t slack on any ideas that come to you in those wee moments of sweet silence with the Lord.”

I spend most morning in bed under the covers praying for a bit before all of the boys get up. It’s my time to regroup, to focus, and to gather strength for my day. And as I head into 2012, I’m now going to use that time to write down the ideas, the inspiration, the encouragement that I get in my time in His presence. I’m going to consult Him on what things to say yes to, what things to say no to, and ask Him how to be the best wife and mom that I can be while still getting to do some heart-fulfilling things. I’m going to trust Him for daily wisdom and major help with time management. And I’m going to still pursue my own “failure club” idea and find one avenue through which I can apply the giftings/talents that God has put in me.

I have great hopes for 2012 . . . 🙂

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