The past week has just been a weird one. Very tiring, emotionally exhausting, physically overwhelming, and mentally challenging. I started out last Monday with an early morning ultrasound on my aorta and blood vessel leading to the aorta, followed by a photographer coming to take pictures of the house, followed by our normal jobs + responsibilities and the final big cleaning of the house. Then all the wild stuff happened in Longmont, and my heart grieved for those involved. Then Friday night we moved to my parents’ house until Sunday night. We spent most of the weekend dealing with requests for showings, feedback on the showings, and trying to figure out what price/bid would be best for our timeframe. Exhausting to say the least. We countered an offer late last night, and I got very little sleep after.
When people hear that we’re moving to Scotland, the most common response is “how exciting!!!” We give small smiles and don’t really respond. Exciting hasn’t really entered our mindset yet as it’s been more emotional, hard work, lots of things to wrap up, tons of decisions, and just basically not an easy process. The dread of leaving one’s family is very emotionally hard, and on top of that, I never dreamed that parting with our house and all our stuff would be so hard. I can’t think about the people who are behind the other offers for our house or the future of our house. In a month’s time, it’s not going to be our house anymore. It’s a very final closing of a big chapter in our lives, and practically speaking, we’ll be houseless for an indefinite period of time. With three little kids, the thought of not having our own space is definitely a bit worrying. I’m trying to tell myself that it will be very freeing, but I haven’t entered that yet. We still don’t have a visa for me to live in the UK. We don’t have a job lined up for Mark, and therefore, our plans for the UK are still in waiting. Yes, the plan to move by the end of May is still there, but we need lots of pieces to fall into place. If I think too hard on that, I fall into major worry and discouragement. So I still can’t go there.
I’m in a one step at a time, let’s just finish this part first, stage.
And so this morning, in my fuzzy, emotional, exhausted state of being, I got up and read this devotional and wanted to share part of it as it really hit home. It’s super long, so I’m only going to share a chunk and I hope it encourages someone else who may read it:
Preparation For Higher Purposes
Consider the working of the Lord within David’s life in preparing him to become King over Israel in Saul’s stead. A short time after he had been anointed by Samuel to be King, David was brought into the palace to wait upon Saul as he sat upon his throne. During this time, David often thought about the throne and all that he would be able to accomplish when it was his.
Then Saul threw a javelin at David and ordered him killed. He fled into the wilderness with Saul’s army close behind, and he hid in the back of a cave. In the darkness of this cave, all of his dreams and ideas concerning the throne lost their significance.
As these former things, which had meant so much to David, began to die, he fully submitted his life to the Lord, and as never before began to look to the Lord Himself, apart from all that the Lord could do for, or through him. In the intense pressure of his present circumstance, and with a new vision and understanding of eternal values, David expressed his inner being to the Lord: “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to enquire in His temple.” Psalm 27:4
David has been reduced to “one desire.” Now the Lord is first in His life. The “throne” that came before him in the darkness of the cave is the eternal throne of the King of all kings. The throne of Israel no longer mattered.
David was prepared by the Lord for the throne of Israel while hiding in the back of a cave. Now, the Lord could trust him in places of pressure and he would not fail the Lord, as Saul had.
Just as the Lord had a “cave” waiting for David so he could be “made ready” for the higher purpose that the Lord had for him, the Lord also has a “cave” for each of us who desire the Lord’s best. Our cave will be quite different than the one into which David fled. Therefore, it is important that we recognize the method and circumstances of His dealings, and then rightly respond.
(Written by Wade Taylor)
I think many times when we seek to follow the Lord with our whole hearts and we know we’ve obeyed and are doing what He’s asked, it would be easy to assume that we’ll feel really excellent that we’re walking on the right path, headed in the right direction, and are pleasing Him. Then trials come, we get tired, yucky emotions hit, and we think wait, where did I go wrong? Just as it describes David above and how he probably envisioned his path to becoming a king to be quite different than what it was, we can envision our path differently. Yet it doesn’t mean we did anything wrong, except to take our eyes off of our focus. When our eyes get more focused on the path or the outcome, then we have missed it. Our eyes have to stay on Him at all times. In light of eternity, the big question will be how much time did you spend enjoying ME (as in HIM)? How much time did you spend walking and talking with your Creator, just taking pleasure in Him? He is the Main Thing in all things. He is what matters no matter what. He is our Refreshing, our Purpose, our Joy, our Strength. When we forget that, we lose those things. I can definitely say that all the distractions of last week sucked the joy and strength out of me. I let my focus get off of Him and onto all this other stuff, which allowed for the discouragement, doubt, worry, etc. to come in. So as I have written quite frequently over the past few months, it’s time to get my focus back on Him. Time to start this Monday off on the right foot, and time to get into His presence. Time to trust that He is directing our steps. Time to get my eyes back on the Lover of my Soul and just take enjoyment in being with Him. He is so good, so kind, so loving, so refreshing. He is all that we need. Truly.