Long story short – A group from Bethel in CA spoke at church yesterday, and they specifically wanted to just share God’s heart for individuals. So during the service, they started calling out the things that God was showing them for others. Ezzy has had this ridiculous cold for over a week, so I was doing everything possible to keep him quiet in the service. I was sitting on the floor playing with him when one of the guys says, “I feel like someone has a shooting pain in the left side of their chest.” I immediately stood up; just reacted without thinking. I’ve had this silly pain on and off since Thanksgiving, but as I stood up, I thought no, he means someone else. My pain has come and gone and has run the gamut of feeling like someone’s stabbing me to just a throbbing, aching, irritating pain. The surgeon I saw said that it’s likely a sodium/caffeine reaction (but I don’t intake much of either?). And surely, he couldn’t mean me. So I sat back down. Yet no one else went up. He’s like is there no one here with that? So I grabbed Ez and almost ran to stand in front of the guy (which no one else had done, but I didn’t think. I just reacted as I knew if I don’t get this prayed for, then I’m going to deal with on and off for who knows how long.) My mom came up and took Ezzy for me, and the guy put his hand on my head and prayed. At the end, he asked me about it, and I just told him that it had been since Thanksgiving and I’d seen 3 doctors who couldn’t determine why I was having the pain. They just determined it wasn’t cancerous. 🙂 He smiled and said, “well, it’s gone.” I smiled and wholeheartedly agreed.
Later, in the car, Mark was like why were you standing up front? He asked if I just went up there because I felt like it. My response was to roll my eyes and then tell him what I wrote above. I also told my husband that he’s a dork. 🙂
So saying all of that to say that this – last week was a hard week with everyone being sick in our house, adjusting to Mark being back and being busy, me home with the boys as it was too cold to take them out with both not feeling well, etc. And at one point, I felt just tired, overwhelmed, and neglected by my God (which wasn’t true, but feelings are not a barometer of truth). I put my complaint before the Lord, and He corrected me with truth. Then Sunday morning came, and we somehow managed to get to church on time. And as I’m standing in worship, holding Ezra, and watching Mark sing and hold Ryder, I just thought, we’re blessed. Not matter what we have or don’t have (time together, finances, money, health, etc.) we’re blessed. It’s such a joy and a privilege to worship God with my family and my church family. We’re blessed to do that. And then I got even more blessed by being prayed for regarding my specific area of pain. Yet what blessed me most about that is that it was God confirming to me that He does not neglect His kids. If I will choose to look at Him, I will see that He’s always looking at me. 🙂 How good is He?!