In the Hebrew language, my name means “Who is like God?” Kind of a heavy meaning name. And it perfectly fits the topic that has been on my mind this week. Last week, we had another special speaker at the Bible school, and he said something that has played over and over in my mind. He said that many times we think that if we’re really getting blessed (by finances, circumstances, goodness, etc), then we think we’ve found favor with God. “He must be really pleased with me this week, because just look at the flow of blessings!!” And in actuality, that’s incorrect. He just loves us and wants to pour out blessings all of the time. Yet many of us don’t realize that. His nature is to bless His children. He desires that we be blessed. However, more than that, He desires that we be changed into His likeness. Real blessing is when we change in some area of our lives and that change reflects more of Him; that pleases Him big time. That glorifies and blesses Him.
There are so many areas of myself that I want changed. So many. Every time I snap at my kids or freak out because they’ve been full of energy and noise, which has resulted in something getting broken or someone getting hurt, I ask myself why I can’t just stay calm. Why can I not control my reactions? Why am I an uptight, yelling mama? So I kick myself for my behavior, and I find myself desperate to change. Yet there’s not one thing I can do to make myself change; not one ounce of self effort will result in a real life change. I’ve tried, so I know this as fact. Yet then in other areas of my life, I have a sudden realization that I’ve gone from being that to being this. And I’m like hello, when did that happen?!
As an example of change . . . I used to be someone who cried one time per year. Usually in church and it was usually a gut wrenching sob session of letting out a year’s worth of junk. Fast forward to the current me and I cry every week in church. I cry every time I turn worship music on. I cry whenever I start to think about how GREAT and GOOD God is. I’ve become a weeper whose heart cannot sit still during worship. I have to worship Him; I have to let out the emotion of thankfulness at how good our God is. I just have to. I have no idea how that came about, except through continual times of just worshiping Him and letting my heart respond in whatever way it needs to respond.
So this morning after looking at my to do list for this month, getting overwhelmed, getting irritated at noise, getting uptight at how much I have to do in such a small amount of time, I decided to get into the worship bubble. Just do the dishes and soak in Him. That’s all I can do to get back into His reality, which is the reality of not being overwhelmed, not allowing pressure and stress in, not allowing any striving or stress, just focusing on Him and letting Him change me. Let Him make me into Micah, the one who is like Him. Selah. 🙂