My husband would tell you that I am not the most patient person. However, he’ll also tell you that I have become more patient over the past few years that we’ve known each other. And I think he’d say that our son takes after his mommy a bit in the fact that he also has very little patience. So needless to say, dealing with a mini-me is in fact going to teach me to have patience. Phew . . . . if you followed that, you did well.

Motherhood is trying in many ways, but for me, the most trying part is to keep my cool and not get stressed (or impatient). It’s a daily battle for me to stop myself and think okay, just breathe and do not react. It doesn’t matter that Ryder just wiped blackberries all over your white pants. They can be cleaned. It doesn’t matter that he just threw a fit while having his poopy diaper changed, and in the midst of arching his back, screaming, getting poop on himself (and everything else), he peed on the carpet. And Zoya is trying to clean it up . . . . just breathe. Breathing has become very important to me right now. 🙂 It keeps me sane; as does prayer, nap times, and thoughts of “oh seriously Lord, help me!”

I actually didn’t react at all to the blackberries on the pants, and Mark even complimented me about it. However, the pee on the carpet was another story. Let’s just say that nap time came a bit early as both Ryder and I needed a break so that we could calm down and get our cool back.

On the average day, I wonder how other moms cope with things. I wonder if I’m doing well or if I have lots of room for improvement (the answer is yes and yes). And I realize that God’s grace is sufficient. He’ll give me the grace to not lose my cool if I ask Him for it. He’ll teach me patience, and I’m sure He’s going to teach me a lot more through my journey of motherhood. I just hope that Ryder someday realizes that I’m doing the best that I can.

I’m currently reading a book that I actually gave to my mom for Mother’s Day. It’s called Her Mother’s Hope by Francine Rivers, and it’s been a perfect book to read at this time in my life. I think I’ll need to re-read it at other times in my life as well. It’s about the journey that one woman takes as she grows up with an abusive father and then becomes a mother herself. It shows how she in turn treats her children, specifically her quiet, sensitive one. It tells the story from the woman’s viewpoint and then from her daughter’s viewpoint. And somehow, it’s easy to relate to both women, but especially easy for me to relate to the quiet one. So I’ve prayed a lot as I’ve read this book. Prayed that God would show me how to raise my quiet, strong, sensitive son. It’s given me a lot to think on as Rydey approaches the stages of walking, talking, exerting his own will, and showing more personality. It’s helping me to consider what kind of mom I’ll be.

More than anything, it’s showing me that I really need God’s grace, wisdom, and help in order to be a good mom. I also need to be teachable and ready and willing to learn from my mom and from the women who have gone before me in raising their kids. I don’t know it all; I’m not an expert at motherhood. Yet God has equipped me for this purpose and this job, so I can do it and I can do it well.

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