So Ryde is totally into music. He loves to dance, he’s learning to sing, and he plays both the guitar and the drums. πŸ˜‰ He requests to watch Youtube videos in which he can watch the guitar and the drums. And his favorite singer is “Kim” or “Kimmy”. He wants to watch Kim on the TV, watch her on the computer, and listen to her in the car. So lately, I’ve been playing Kim while I cook dinner as it keeps Ryde in my sight and keeps him entertained. His favorite song of hers is “How He Loves Us.” And every time I play it (which is quite often), I thank God for the song and for how much Ryder loves it. So I’m posting the link below –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps
And I just want to add this – the first time I heard this song, I had just had Ryder, just been through a c-section, was completely sleep deprived, and was spending over an hour each feeding as I tried to get Ryder to latch on, then eat through a breastfeeding system, then pump, then give him a bottle. I could not nurse him successfully, yet I tried for over a month and felt like a total failure. So I was going through all of that, had returned to work full time, and then had some friends of mine tell me that I just wasn’t myself. I felt like I was at the lowest of the lows. Motherhood was not a smooth transition for me (to say the least). One of my friends suggested that I listen to Kim Walker’s music, so I googled the song above and laid on the bed and listened. I cried through all of it. The enormity of God’s love for me, which I could finally grasp as being somewhat of what I felt for my newborn, fully hit me. I never fully understood how big His heart of love is for us until that day. When Mark got home, I was still on the bed, completely wiped out and just resting. Mark looked at me, saw what I was listening to, and said something (which I can’t remember) to the effect of how that was exactly what I needed. It was what I needed, and I still need it as I’m still trying to grasp how an infinitely amazing God loves us, His kids, so entirely much. It’s mind blowing really. It makes me wonder how I ever spend one minute in anxiety, in worry, in stress, or in thinking that I’m not good enough. God never thinks that about me. And my prayer for Ryder is that he continually absorbs the truth of this song and grows up knowing that our Father loves him so very much.
My son’s love for this song has been almost a gift to me as I’m able to cook and listen to how much He loves us and dwell in that in order to get my sanity in the midst of crazy mommyhood, which isn’t always the most lovely or loving feeling place. πŸ™‚

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