[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] I[/dropcap]’ve been trying to get this post written for about a week. And if you looked in my drafts folder, you’d see several variations and attempts. None of which have come to anything . . . yet this morning, I found myself thinking about balance and what’s important in life. So here are some thoughts as I process:

Yesterday was my first full day of work, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes, and doing all without a nap or crashing on the couch at 8pm. I even stayed up and did a word game + read until 11pm. Starting to feel like my old self. Thank the Lord. Of course, dinner was a disaster, but that seems to be the new norm. If anyone has any tips on how to get an oven cleaned (without obnoxious fumes), as my fish pie boiled all over it, please let me know.

So while I was reading, I stumbled upon a blog about menu planning, budgeting, etc. Ugh. My least favorite topics in life (besides taxes). But it got me thinking as dinner seems to not be going well during this pregnancy, so a menu plan would actually help in several ways. Not to mention that grocery shopping is only going to become more of a challenge with 3 little ones, so an actual budget that matches a menu would be well worth my time.

And then I started thinking (shocker) and looking at other blogs, and realized that as I get closer to my birthday, I’m feeling more and more like my purpose, my likes/dislikes, my realization of what is actually me and what is not, what makes me thrive, what makes me happy, and what is a total waste of time for myself and my family is all coming into focus. Over the weekend, Mark and I were talking about avenues through which I could write more. And I mentioned how everyone and their mother (literally) has a blog about their life; so why would mine be any different? I write for myself more than for anyone else. And he had good thoughts in response to that, but what stood out to me is that in the world of blogging, I don’t write about crafts or staying home with my kids or my job or some hobby that I have. I don’t do crafts or hobbies, and I’m not great at any one thing. My kids watch too much TV and eat gummi bears and suckers. They play with plastic toys (gasp!) and we don’t do too many coloring/play doh/artsy stuff. They don’t want to sit and color; they want to climb, jump, dive, and bash. So we go with it. And my passion is loving God, serving others, and loving everything to do with missions/travel/loving on people. That’s me. I do love reading a good spy novel or diving into the history of the Israeli army, the Holocaust, Hebrew names, etc. I love all things European and think language development is fascinating. And I love sipping a great cup of coffee and reading the biography of a missionary. (I dream of someday making a quilt, but that’s in another life.) Those simple things are my hobbies and passions. And they have been since I was a kid.

So saying all of that to say that this lady is not crafty, not organized, not a budgeting wiz, or a kitchen diva. I’m a part-time working mama of two energetic boys, who is also married to a very smart, creative British man, and together (along with one wild Husky girl dog), we’re expecting a new family member in July who will make our little house seem even smaller. We have our good days and bad days, but we love God and we love each other. And we happen to own the worst looking yard on our street. 🙂 That’s us. And somehow, I’m all right with all of that. I’m content. (And my husband will cheer when he sees that word of content.) My heart is full of dreams, our little family is starting to learn French, and we hope to have a new yard someday. But today is what it is . . . . a gift to enjoy. And this blog is what it is . . . just one girl writing out her thoughts and hoping that someone else gets something good and encouraging out of them. There’s no more trying to be something that I’m not. I think instead it’s time to just make the most of who I am and do the best with what God has given me. A good friend of mine always says that we have to make the most of what God has put in our hand. I finally get that. She’s a wise lady, and I think there’s a lot of wisdom in taking the seeds, the soil, and the fertilizer that we have and just focus on growing the best fruit possible. Who cares if it’s uglier than the neighbor’s, or if it’s just one variation of one fruit, or if it’s different. It’s what we have. And I think that God just wants us to make the most of what He’s given us. Then after that is done, more may come along. But what we have today is today. And that’s enough.

One thought on “just me

  1. Micah, have I ever told you that I look forward to reading your blogs. I look for them every week. I always notice when two weeks go by and you haven’t posted anything. I have to remind myself that you are busy or sick and that you have not signed a contract to post every week. lol

    I just told my grandson the other day that all I expect from his is the best that he can do. That is it. He did not have to compete with anyone.

    When ever my children have complained on how I raised them or anyone doesn’t like the way I have done something, my answer has always been, ” I do the best with what I have to work with.” I have said that for years. I have given that advice to anyone who struggles with not having everything perfect.

    I am so delighted that you have found that peace in your heart. Your life is going to be so much easier. You work with what you have and that is all there is to it. God will give you more and more as you grow in him.

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