It’s sometimes rough to try and maintain a blog as I have no clear thoughts, no updated content, and just not a whole lot to share right now. I would love to share about some books I’ve been reading and add some updated content, but I just have not had the means to sit down and do so. I can’t manage to keep up with the bills and the dishes, let alone do what I would really love to do. So this blog has just been sitting, like many other things, for now. I was hoping to clear my head at some point, but that’s just not happening. And I’m sure we all have seasons like that. So I will just say the following:
– We had another meeting last weekend about our big opportunity of moving to Edinburgh, Scotland. Most of the meeting was spent on talking about hearing from God, obeying God, stepping out in faith, commitment to such a big move, and commitment as a team. This has had me stuck all week as I feel like I really need some quiet time to think and pray, and yet I’ve had zero opportunity to do so.
– We started our bathroom remodel, and long story short, everything takes longer, costs more, and is more difficult than originally thought. We should have moved out for a few days, but we’ve tried to cope with our ONE AND ONLY bathroom being out of commission. And let’s just say that I’m now over it and just ready to move out. Have I mentioned before how much I hate home ownership? How it’s not for me? How our 950 square foot home is super claustrophobic? I’m sure I have, so I will end there.
– This weekend I will spend Sunday afternoon teaching at our healing room at church. I’ve kind of dreaded it for several weeks now. I’m totally comfortable teaching on missions or stewardship or finances; not so comfortable when it comes to teaching on healing. Not because I don’t know the subject matter, but because healing is really a touchy subject. I don’t have all the answers on it; I just know that God’s heart is to always heal. I know that Jesus paid it all on the cross, and that included our healing. So I always feel very humbled, very . . . I don’t know the right word . . . to teach on it. I realize that it’s very much a heart issue between God and the person who is sick, and I can’t preach at them. But I need to just gently help, encourage, and equip them with the Word. And it always goes well, but I always get a bad case of jitters before. And I even have loads of personal healing testimonies to share, so I don’t know what’s with the nerves.
– Speaking of teaching, I also have a chance to take on more responsibility at our church’s local Bible school. I’m just finding it so hard to find the time; to sit down and think about advertising, revamping some things, etc. seems very out of my mental reach right now.
– And I think that’s why I’ve been so stuck recently. I’m feeling pulled in 15 directions, and I don’t know which way to go, which to put aside, and how to do it all. Juggling everything is feeling quite hard right now. And I would imagine that many of you probably feel the same; I think most moms of multiple little ones feel very stretched. I just keep adding irons to the fire and am feeling more and more stretched . . .
So let’s just leave this with this – Isaiah 40:31 NKJV –
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
Waiting on the Lord to me means getting my heart quieted, ignoring all the thoughts of “what about this?” and “have I done that?” and “how will this happen?” and just setting my mind on Him while I go about my day. It’s an expectant, patiently waiting activity of knowing that while I do my daily duties, He is infusing me with strength, with hope, with wisdom, and with peace. It’s a confidence of knowing that He is good. All the time, He is good. He knows how to lead, how to guide, and how to speak. And I can hear Him. I can quiet myself down and hear His sweet voice. He will direct me on which balls to keep juggling and which to let go of. So I wait . . .