I have to be honest and say that I don’t blog so that other people will read or know my thoughts. I blog for my own personal well-being. 🙂 I don’t like to promote this blog or draw attention to it. I started this blog back when I lived in California (2005) and told no one about it. I just needed a safe place to write my thoughts out and keep track of them. And I’m so thankful that I started this blog because everything that I had written previously and stored on my computer was lost when my laptop was stolen. 🙁 A few months later after writing for a bit, I talked to my friend, Tirzah, about blogging, and it turns out, she had a blog as well. So we shared our blogs, and then my family started reading it, then Mark, and now, I don’t know if 5 people read this, 0 people read this, or 10 people. And I appreciate everyone who does read what I have to say; I hope it encourages you or speaks to you in some way.
Anyway, the point of saying all of that is this – I am not the greatest writer. I don’t have tons of insight or lots of funny stories to tell. I’m an imperfect being who just happens to find writing to be therapeutic. I actually love words; I love thoughts. I’ve kept journals since I was in high school, and it’s healthy and good to see what the Lord has taught me over the years. It’s just healthy for me to get my thoughts processed. And there are many other people who feel and do the same as there are millions of blogs out there, and many, many of those are excellently done. I went through a phase of not having time to write, then wondering what the point of writing was, and then trying to go back to the old-fashioned hand-written way of journaling that I used to do. It didn’t work. And then I started to get convicted that I was actually comparing my writing with everyone else; let me tell you that comparison doesn’t work. It doesn’t please God. He made me to be the unique Micah that I am, and no one else is me. So if writing does a girl good, then writing is what I need to do.
So I’m back to blogging, and it helps that Ryder is taking long naps now. His mom finally has some personal time now. 🙂
So as I’ve been writing a lot lately, the Lord has been challenging me in some areas. He’s been pushing me, digging up some old dreams, shining His light on ideas that I had put on the very back of the shelf years ago. And He’s been asking “what about this?” I’ve been responding with “Lord, I don’t know how to do that.” And “millions of other people are better at that than I am and we don’t have the money for me to do that.” His response has been to just keep tugging on my heart strings. His response has been to ask me, “isn’t there more to life than this?” And it’s in the sense of there being more in that there are gifts and callings in me that are unused. They’re wasting away on the shelf. They’re waiting for me to pick them up. And I finally understand that the time is now. I hear the call. It’s just how do I step out? So I’m prayerfully considering a lot of doors to step through. I’m carefully aware that I could easily fall on my face or even fail. Yet this tugging of there has to be more than this and the time is short is getting stronger and louder . . . . it’s time to move forward.