I fell off my horse last week. Not literally, but figuratively. Or in other words, for those who have never ridden a horse, I got hit by a truck and was just totally flat out and on the pavement. Again figuratively . . . 🙂 Like the culmination of all the things that have happened in the past six months or so just finally flattened me. Or at least the emotions of all of it finally did me in. And some would argue and say that I let my emotions do me in. Well, whatever. I was flattened. To give you another good description of where I was at, I emotionally felt like I physically felt the morning after my c-section. The morning when you wake up after going through 31 hours of labor, followed by a c-section and tons of pain killer, followed by exhaustion of staying awake to have the nurses checking on you and the baby constantly, then finally allowing you to sleep. That morning when you wake up and all the drugs have worn off, you realize that you hurt everywhere. You look in the mirror and realize that you look like you hurt everywhere. That’s where I was last week in my emotions. Not pretty.
Yet thankfully, the Lord helped me to not stay flat on my back for very long. And graciously, He knew that I couldn’t stay flat for long as we’re going on vacation this week. So His timing is good. 🙂
And since I’ve given such a good description of how I was feeling, I’ll leave out all the details of why I was feeling like that. We’ll just say that there have been some tests and trials that have come our way. But in this world, you will have tribulation, yes? Yet He has overcome this world. He has not left us to drown in our tribulation. He has given us authority over those that try to beat us down; He has given us the victory. And He’s given me a husband who reminds me of that, family who remind me of that, and a great church where the Word is given to remind us of that. But even more than that, I have 30 some years of the Word within me, and I also have old songs and hymns that we were taught as kids that also play within me. And this week, those songs were just coming out of nowhere. Just like my dad when he preaches, he starts to remember the old songs that he learned as a kid, that’s what was happening with me this week. So I’m going to end this with one of those songs as it speaks of the deep peace that our God gives. It speaks of the comfort that He always provides. And it speaks of how everything was accomplished for us on the cross. So while I’m flat on my back on the pavement, thinking that everything hurts, I can sing this and encourage myself. I can also know that this song was not written as just a song to sing, but it was written out of the depths of emotions that one man was feeling when he lost all that he loved in this world. It was written as he realized that God could still provide comfort and that things were still well.
It Is Well With My Soul
1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.