[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] I[/dropcap]t’s no secret that I don’t want to live in the States anymore . . . but I’ve learned the hard way on how difficult overseas moves are. I’ve moved overseas twice: once to Britain and once back to the US. And when I was younger, our family moved us over to Jamaica for half a year, but back then, my only concern was how to pack my favorite stuffed animal and piano/keyboard . . . Needless to say, it’s very expensive to move houses, let alone move to a different country. The visa process alone is mega-expensive, and truthfully, I don’t know how we afforded it when it was just the hubby and me. Now we would have to add in 3 kids and their visas. Plus, the airlines only allow one 50 pound bag per customer when traveling overseas. Talk about ridiculously expensive to pack anymore than that.

And truthfully, our move to the States put us in a lot of debt. Between student loans, home ownership stuff, and poor decisions we made when we moved here, we owe a lot of money. It bothers me to no end, and I wish I could go back and erase all of it. Yet I also know that we made decisions based on what we thought we had to do. I don’t know if we were right or wrong, but we’ve lived and learned. We now know we never want to acquire anymore debt. Yet we’re also faced with the very present dilemma of what to do about a car. My hub’s car is a 1993 with brake issues and an oil leak. My car is a 2000 with major transmission trouble. Both cars should have seen a mechanic last year, and they didn’t. They are now to the point of unreliable. Not to mention that neither car will hold 3 car seats; no matter how small the car seat is. Very few cars will hold 3 car seats, and almost none of the cars are available in our budget. And that’s just the beginning of the dilemma, but I’ll leave other financial concerns out of this public post.

So it’s a major area to trust God with, to proceed with lots of caution, and to somehow be good stewards, even though we have no funds. If that makes sense? I’ve spent a lot of time praying lately.

Then on Saturday, we got a letter from the IRS about our most recent tax return, and I got majorly into my feelings and totally angry and stressed. I’m over that now as I can’t do anything about it.

And I realize that I eat when stressed. I eat chocolate, ice cream, chips and salsa, and any Haribo candy I can find. It’s been discouraging to say the least.

But who is in control? My emotions, my fear, my worries, and my guilt over debt and poor decisions? Or a God Who is bigger than all of it and Who wants to take care of all of it? Who says that we can ask for wisdom when we need it? Who says that HE is Jehovah Jireh, our Provider? Who says that we can cast all of our cares upon Him for He cares for us? Who says to not worry about tomorrow? And Who has given us financial testimony after testimony after testimony? He has. Our wonderful Heavenly Father has taken care of us every step of the way. So why would He quit now? Why would He ever say, “Micah, I want you to really regret all your bad decisions, and to live in fear and never move forward.” He wouldn’t say that; it’s not in His character. He’s a good Daddy.

So no chocolate or chips or ice cream for this lady today. I threw out the Haribo candy yesterday (don’t tell my kids!!), and it’s on to eating healthy, drinking more water, and taking my stress to the Word of God. No eating myself out of anything. I have 17 weeks to get healthy and in shape to deliver a baby. God already knows the car situation, so I’m not giving it one more thought. And the IRS is the IRS; nothing I can do about them. We are being faithful to pay off our debts and to make good decisions. God knows where we need to be, when we need to be there, and why. I’m also trusting Him with that. This is a season for being faithful, so that’s what where we’re at.

Lastly, during dinner last night, my firstborn goes “Let’s go to England! I miss England. You guys want to go?!” So we all pretended that we were flying to England and then getting on a train .  .  . I love the imagination that my boy has. And someday, we will be on a plane, we will get to ride another train and another subway, and he and I will be happy, happy!

Leaving you with a picture of my boys as they got to go to their first story time today at the local bookstore. Auntie Hav took them, and they were the only kids there. So they had a story, then got to color, then play with trains and Legos. Talk about a good morning . . . and a good auntie for letting them get to do things that their mama can’t do with them right now. Always something to be grateful for, yeah?

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