Parenting, oh parenting, oh parenting . . . how I wish I knew you better.
Mark and I decided to enroll Ryder into a different preschool for the fall. And I’m not really sure that we made the right decision. We’re limited on funds, and we chose a location that’s on my way to work and only 5 minutes from our house. We learned about it from a friend, and Mark has visited the school. I’m just coming to appreciate the school that Ryder’s currently in and how well they’re teaching him about Jesus. So I’m now having my doubts . . . after we’ve already paid the non-refundable admission fee.
Saying all that to say that parenting is hard on a perfectionist. I constantly question if I’m making the right decisions. I’m pretty good at going by my gut. I’m good at submitting it all to God in prayer first and trusting in His direction. I’m not so good at being confident that we/I have made the right decision after it’s been made.
And as I’ve said before, I struggle with all of the parenting books out there. I feel like most do not suit our situation – Christian family with both parents in the workforce. I still need to write that book about God-loving Christian moms who work out of necessity.
On the average day, I don’t even know that I’m doing well at parenting in the day by day aspects of it, let alone in the schooling, teaching, character development, important aspects. You know? We’re doing good to make sure that Ryder is brushing his teeth at night, not watching too much TV, and not overdosing on raisins!! 🙂 Ezzy is now into everything and at the hard stage when you can’t really discipline him for doing things that he shouldn’t, because he’s so curious that everything is new. He doesn’t know that he’s not supposed to rip pages out of a book until he tries it and mommy corrects him. Yet he also doesn’t realize that NO means no. It’s hard on Ryder as Ezzy does things that Ryder knows he shouldn’t do, but Ezzy doesn’t know. Anyway, just an example of a parenting dilemma.
So at dinner the other night, I talked to Mark about some of my current struggles; one of which is how to balance our budget, keep a good medium of buying healthy nutritious foods without breaking the bank, and meal-plan for a finger food eating child with 2 teeth, a picky child who lives on bread and fruit, and a low cholesterol eating grown man. It’s hard to juggle all of that. (I can’t imagine Michelle Duggar’s life . . .) Mark listened and was very encouraging by saying that he feels that I’m going a great job. I appreciated his encouragement as I’m finding that moms needs a lot of encouragement. This world is kind of critical of parenting and everything involved with it, which makes it difficult as we all parent differently.
And I’m realizing that different is okay. I don’t parent the same way that my mom did. She had two girls; I have two boys. She was a young mom whose husband was church planting and was gone a lot. She did a great job in parenting, so I take her advice. But I’m still a different parent from her. And that’s not bad. I use her wisdom and advice and apply it as best as I can. I use my friends’ wisdom and advice and apply it as best as I can. But not everything works perfectly in my situation and my family. So every parenting dilemma that I face has to be handled with His wisdom and help. And His grace to know that I don’t always do the right thing or handle every situation well. But I am learning. We are making progress. And if this new preschool isn’t right, then by January, we can go back to the current preschool.
It’s not the end of the world . . . that’s becoming a very common thought in my head. 🙂
Parenting is a learn as we go job. I wish I had realized that when my parents were parenting me, and I hope my boys realize that. They’re growing up while we, their parents, are also growing. We’re growing up boys while they’re growing up parents. Lord, help us to all have grace for each other.