I’m finding it hard to get time to process my thoughts lately, but I really want to as I know I’ll want to look back on this time and see the things that I learned. So here goes . . .
We’re in the midst of selling our house, getting rid of EVERYTHING, working two jobs each, and Mark is studying to take a certification that will add to his resume while I’m getting ready to teach another class. Both boys are in the last two months of school, and Eden is just a full blown toddler. Trying to prepare a house to sell while living with 3 kids under 5 and 1 dog is like trying to keep a zoo clean. Oy!!
So in the midst of everything, I am also dealing with a lot of emotions. I finally decided to just give away all of the boys’ baby clothes and my maternity clothes; the ones I hadn’t wanted to part with as they were in perfect shape and I was hoping someone would want them. But my dad suggested giving them to a local church that has been partnering with our church. We’re hoping they may have a family in need. And then we’ve given away everything else minus a few items that actually sold. It’s been very hard to just give away all the belongings that we really like! Way harder than I thought it would be. Yet I’ve done it out of obedience with simple faith that God sees and knows. And I believe there is much benefit in giving, so I’ve just had my hands as open as they can be. But it hasn’t been easy on my heart. And now as we get our house ready, I know it’s time to part with our home, but it’s not easy either. Lots of tears and lots of prayers are happening.
And then at the same time, different circumstances keep coming up to challenge us, and each time, I’m just like Lord, I cannot take one more challenge! I can’t do this anymore; I’m so tired! Yet He proves faithful. More than that, He keeps showing me that every sickness, every dollar that the devil takes, every challenge is an opportunity for God to pour out more blessing. Each challenge is a chance to sow more faith, more hope, more love with a heart that knows that God will bless us in return. So it’s one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. And even more than that, I feel like it’s even time to just play the worship music 24/7 and get my warrior gear on and say, “as of right now, I’m rejoicing and walking in joy and peace from this point forward. The season of mourning, of grieving, of worrying, of walking in uncertainty is done!” Time to walk in victory. Time to laugh as I give away more stuff, more opportunities to bless others, more opportunities to have my faith stretched. This is a season where God is ready to pour His grace out on us if we’ll look up. He can gracefully guide us through all of this transition if we’ll look up. So that’s where I’m headed this week. I hope you are too – no matter what you’re going through, I hope you’re looking up. He’s beautiful, wonderful, and full of love.
P.S. I saw this photo on The Archibald Project’s instagram (follow them if you’re not already!), and it just perfectly stated how I’ve felt. So I saved it. Plus, I love Elisabeth Elliot.