This has been a wild year so far. I feel like I’ve asked the Lord a million questions, presented to Him a million problems, and sought Him for His viewpoint as somehow I feel like I’m missing it. And He’s been faithful to keep us going every day. Yet being the impatient being that I am, my heart keeps crying out “when Lord, when?!” Waiting is still not my thing . . .
Thankfully though, I’m realizing that His timing is perfect. His way is better, and patience (however hard it may be) is worthwhile. So every time I get ready to say, “okay, I can’t handle anymore!”, I get this check in me that calms me down and reminds me that yes, with His grace, I can. It requires one step at a time, and one day at a time. Onward ho . . .
(I’m really into . . . if you haven’t noticed.)
And amazingly, after a day of feeling like wow, what a waste of space I am and maybe God really just doesn’t have any use for me or maybe He really needs to refine me before I’m usable, the Lord answered. He sent along someone with a like heart to encourage me, to fellowship with me, and to join in prayer with me. His timing is perfect.
Then, this morning, as I drove to work listening to one of the speakers from this year’s Hillsong Colour Conference, I was also reminded that determination and persistence are two necessary qualities in maneuvering this life successfully. Many times we miss out on what God has for us, because we quit too soon. We don’t put in the drive and steadiness that is required to attain things that are worth value (eternal things and eternal fruit). And over the past few years, I’ve known that I had lost both those qualities; I’ve know that I have given up due to discouragement and disappointment. But I wasn’t determined enough or motivated enough to get back on my feet. Yet God’s been slowly working on me; slowly chipping away at the discouragement and disappointment. He’s lovingly urged me to get back in the game, to get back into my armor as a needed soldier in His army. So for the rest of 2010, I am getting spiritually fit; I’m preparing for battle. I’m going to work on both determination and persistence, and I’m going to seek my God for all He’s got. And it’s both scary and exciting . . . however, time is too short for me to waste any more of it.