It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] S [/dropcap]ometimes our emotions tell us that God doesn’t hear us. If He heard us, He would act. If He saw our circumstances, He would fix them. If He cared, He would do something. Our emotions fail to remember that He already has done something. He’s provided the grace, the wisdom, the perseverance, the help that we need to get through our circumstances. Our emotions fail to remind us that sometimes our circumstances are the result of choices we’ve made. Sometimes our circumstances are just part of living in an imperfect world. And sometimes they’re due to a great enemy who seeks to destroy our relationship with Him. A downtrodden Christian is a victory to the supreme defeated one. It doesn’t glorify God when we’re in the pit. What glorifies God is our looking up, out of the pit, into His Word, which tells us that we can choose to live in His mercy, choose to walk in His grace, and choose to find joy in something each day. If we have nothing to find joy in, we always have our salvation through Jesus, and that is a whole lot to be joyful about. Eternity in Heaven is enough to be joyful about even if nothing else brings joy.
So having said that, I have to say I was lying in the pit over the past week, crying out to God, knowing that my emotions were a mess, knowing the truth, yet struggling to walk in it. I was tired. Tired, tired, and more tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of barely enough, tired of wondering where this would come from, how we would do that, would this ever change? And finally, after pouring it all out, after wise advice from my dad who said it was okay to be tired as it’s just a season, I just decided that I had to rest and leave it with Him. So I did. I got up the next morning, went into work, got my work done, picked up my boys from Mark, and then went home for the afternoon. My boys decided that they wanted to swim in the pool, so I got out the swim suits, the swim diapers, the sunscreen, the pools, and the toys. And I let them go at it. My second born took about 1 second to assess the new situation before he dove in. My firstborn who has been through two seasons of swimming (unlike his brother) decided if Ezzy could do it, then he could too. So they dove, jump, splashed, got scraped up, got muddy, got some sun, and had a blast. They love their girl, Zoya, and so she joined in on the fun. And the three of them just enjoyed the sun while Mommy watched. I enjoyed just watching them enjoy life. I let their joy and their enthusiasm rub off on me. We then did baths before nap time (while I still had some energy), and then we all napped. And what do you know, except that two days later, the world looks brighter to me. My circumstances are the same; no improvement that I see. No direction, no answers, no increases in the bank account that I see. Yet my joy is up, my heart is light, and my emotions are balanced.
And I learned something this week. I used to be one who played worship music continually. Then babies and napping came into my life, so I turned the music off except for when in the car. I decided this week to turn the worship back on. My boys love music; they nap and go to bed at night with worship lullabies. They have from their first days at home and probably will until they’re old enough to decide not to. So they like it when I have the music going. And I let it go all week at our house. I let it be heart therapy. I let my praise rise like incense. And He heard. He always hears. And if there’s anything that I can testify about my God, it’s that He is faithful. He always has been faithful, and He always will be faithful.
Today’s a new day, and I’m thankful.
Oh, and my baby took three consecutive steps without any help last night. Proud Mama I am. 😉