As we all know, change is nothing new for me. I think God created me in order to change me. That’s actually quite the thought . . . seriously though, change has been a part of my life and Mark’s for so long now that we don’t really think much of it. I think we both see it as something that has to happen, so we get on with it. I tend to dive in, and he tends to wade in slowly. Either way though, we both go for it. So I’ve found the last month kind of funny as so many people have told us that our lives are about to change forever . . .
First, if pregnancy doesn’t change you forever, then I don’t know what would. I look nothing like what I’ve always looked like. And I think there are some parts of me that will never go back to the pre-pregnancy me. Second, pregnancy has changed us as a couple as we’ve grown a lot together. We’ve been stretched in different ways; all of which have been good ways. Third, if 9 months of growing and feeling a baby inside of you does not change the way that you look at the world, then again, nothing will.
So I understand when all these people tell me that our lives will change forever. But part of me would also like to tell them that we realize this fact of life. Sure, we don’t know what it will actually be like, but we do realize that life as we have known it will change. We didn’t make the choice to become parents without really considering it first. Hello, we waited almost 2 years before we even tried to conceive. So we took our time, and we took our time because we wanted our time together as a couple. And now that we’ve been together 3 years, married 2.5 years, and are both in our 30s, this is a change that we want. We desire children and all that comes with it. Sometimes I’d like to tell that to everyone who freely gives us their thoughts and opinions.
I’d also like to tell them that yes, we did realize that we got a puppy 6 months before our baby was due. We also wanted it like that. And we also realize that the puppy will just be a dog when the baby comes. However, she won’t be neglected and forgotten. She will grow up being Ryder’s best friend and companion, and I’m really looking forward to that! I’m really thankful that we got a female puppy too as I don’t want to be outnumbered by males in our house . . .
And lastly, I also realize that childbirth is no walk in the park. But I refuse to get in fear about it. I refuse to dread it. I have to go through it as it’s too late to turn back now. So again, I’m going into it with lots of reading, lots of preparation, lots of prayer, and lots of scripture. I’m going in expecting the best yet knowing that every woman’s experience is different. I will have my own story to tell when it’s all over.
And very lastly, this whole experience has taught me to a.) trust God, b.) expect the best, and c.) go with the flow. I really did hope that our first baby would be a little girl, and I can’t say that I wasn’t disappointed to find out that we’re having a boy. However, I would now be terribly disappointed if this little one came out and wasn’t a boy. 🙂 The Lord has taught me that He knows what we need, what we want, and what’s best. I know some people pray and pray for what they want. I’m just not that type of person. I prayed that God would choose this child, create him with purpose, and give us His desire for us. And the answer was a boy. If the answer is a boy again, then the Lord and I may have to have a chat as I ask him why 2 boys in a row . . . but that’s another discussion. 🙂
Anyway, only 13 days till his due date. It’s amazing how time flies! In one way, I can’t wait to see him, and in another way, he can take his time. Either way, the time is short, so I’ll enjoy today – swollen feet, tired body, huge belly and all . . .