For the last few weeks, I’ve been contemplating risk, leaps of faith, being led by peace, choosing to not fret or worry, and placing the entirety of my thoughts/hopes/dreams on God. Giving it all to Him and leaving it with Him. And in the meantime, I’ve had two colds, one night of major dizziness, a ton of weird aches and pains, and total exhaustion. As my firstborn would say, “what on earth?!” All I keep thinking is that the devil is such a liar!! He thinks he’s so smart with all of his tricks and distractions . . . and he’s not! I’m on to him. But I would be lying if it hasn’t been a battle to rest my mind.
Yet it’s been a very worthwhile battle, because I’m getting to the point where I can now be still enough to hear any gentle leading, any whispers, and thoughts that the Holy Spirit might be saying. And the biggest thing is that when I think of the big decisions, the things we’re considering, and I think of the possible directions, my brain and emotions can get overwhelmed and go this way and that way, yet when I hit the right thing, I feel total peace. I know it will work out.
I also know that a giant leap of faith is coming. Without a doubt, I know that I’m being asked to trust Him completely, because we have giant mountains to cross. We have some monumental size mountains looming ahead, but guess what? The book of Mark tells me this (chapter 11 in the Amplified):
22 And Jesus, replying, said to them, Have faith in God [constantly].
23 Truly I tell you, whoever says to this mountain, Be lifted up and thrown into the sea! and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him.
24 For this reason I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) that it is granted to you, and you will [get it].
So if I feel complete peace about heading in a direction, if I know that I’m to trust God and not fear, if everything is saying take this leap of faith, speak to your mountain, and wait and see, then what can I lose? I have to at least try it. I have to dive into faith. I have to trust God’s leading, and part of it is peace.
But I also have to not waver or fix my eyes on all the circumstances surrounding me. I’m a doer, a bargain maker, a planner, a let’s get this done type of person, but when I’m faced with big decisions, I end up comatose in a I can’t cope and I need to sleep it off state simply because the big picture overwhelms me. It translates into 50 zillion small jobs that have to get done, and that overwhelms me. But it has dawned on me this week that I don’t have to be overwhelmed. Circumstances can always find a way to try to overtake us. I don’t have to even leave the house before the laundry is overtaking the bedrooms, the dust is visible on every surface, and the sink is piled high with dishes to be washed. That can be overwhelming after a while just due to the monotony of it, but I don’t have to let it be. When faced with big decisions, I don’t have to feel overwhelmed by the details of it, because it’s a one step at a time, being led by peace, seeking Him as we go, and trusting Him to light our path process. And even more than that, I don’t even have to worry about what’s happening with my spouse or my kids in the midst of it all, because He is also leading and working within them. After 7 years of marriage, I’m finally learning to keep my mouth shut and just let God lead my husband. (Hallelujah, thank You, Jesus for growing me up!) I’m also realizing that no matter where we live or how old my kids are I will have to entrust them to my Heavenly Father. I have to do it every single day.
So I’ll leave this with one more scripture:
and thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it; when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21 AMP
I think many times Christians can get burdened down, depressed, overcome with feelings of discouragement, tiredness, or even boredom, and those feelings come from looking at just our circumstances. The Bible repeatedly tells us to look at Him, trust Him, focus on Him, speak His Word, have hope in Him. He has a better way, He has a vision, He has a way over the mountain IF we’ll trust Him to guide us, if we’ll take that leap of faith, and if we’ll take the risk of living a life of faith, which is full of adventure (battles included), full of life, and full of Him. He is fully able to walk with us, to whisper in our ears, to tell us yes, this or no, not that. But we have to be set on Him.
I don’t know what this year holds for us. I don’t know what God has in store for our little family. I also don’t know how He will maneuver our mountains, but I do know that He is good. I know His love for us is so great, and I know He wants us to believe Him. Nothing is impossible with God.