My Ezra is sick again. And instead of going to church and spending an hour and a half pacing the halls with him, then dragging him to cleaning jobs, I decided to keep him home today. We also decided to keep Ryder home as he seems to be the culprit for passing germs to his brother. And we’ve lost enough money on missed preschool days, so I don’t want Ryder getting sick again. Then after watching “Contagion” last night, I think we made the right decision. 😉 As much as my pastor’s kid self says that we need to be in church, which we do, I’m just fed up with Ezzy being sick all winter.

So it’s been a day of cleaning, cooking, and getting done a list of things that needed done while both my boys rest and sleep. And all the while, I’ve been thinking and praying. Praying and thinking.

Mark and I met with a mortgage loan officer yesterday, and basically, we were told we couldn’t refinance due to our mortgage being upside down. It was a bummer to say the least. We’re going to keep calling and keep trying different options as we HAVE to do something. And as Mark and I were driving home yesterday and discussing it, I mentioned recent conversations that I’d had with trustworthy advisers. I told him some of the advice that they’d given, and we discussed worst case scenarios. The conversation was ended with a lot of questions and a general peace that this isn’t the end of the world. The worst case scenarios aren’t the end of the world. They’re not things we ever imagined or wanted, but if they happen, we’ll be okay.

I also mentioned to Mark how one friend of mine advised me that Mark and I need to go back to where we started. Back to the dreams we had as newlyweds. Back to the lifelong desires that God has put on our hearts. Who were we before debt, immigration, big moves, kids, a mortgage, four jobs, etc? What do we know that God wants us to do before we leave this earth? And how do we do that? Who are Mark and Micah as a couple?

So I feel hopeful in that sense. I feel like more dreams have been buried and put away until God decides to resurrect them. I feel like our financial circumstances look large and scary, but I don’t have to look at them like that. I can look at them through the lens of who my Provider is and how He takes care of us day by day. It’s one day at a time. With His help, we can do this one day at a time.

And lastly, I’ve decided to stay clear of the internet. I’m allowing myself an allotted time of blogging, checking e-mail, paying bills, trip planning, and searching for recipes, but otherwise, it’s sayonara, adios for me. I’ve just got too many other things to spend my time on. And it feels good to say that. Hopefully, I stick to it. 😉

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