Does anyone else flip flop on whether or not to have one more child? Or is it just me? This sounds silly, but as of May 2012, we either try for a third baby or forget. Why May? Because I turn 35 the following February, and I’m not joking when I say that I’m not having any more kids after that point. I’m really not. My labor/delivery is way too hard (with too long of recoveries) to deal with at an older age. I admire older mamas, and I figure they are a lot stronger, more organized and put together women than I am. I just know my limits, and I think that would push me over the edge. I’d have to be allowed to go to a spa for 6 weeks after having the child in order to really do it. 😉
So I keep pondering what we should do. We’ve both said that we’re 95% positive that we are not having any more kids. Mainly because we feel that we definitely cannot afford it. And that’s true based on our current income. In order to have a third child, we’d have to live without my income, which would then require that we moved to the poor house (literally). So then I wonder why I’m even thinking about . . .
Last night, I packed up all of Ezra’s 6 month clothes. It made my heart hurt. I even considered wanting another boy just so he could wear all the cute clothes. I’m not ready to get rid of them. Not ready to have my baby be growing up. Not ready to be done with babies.
But then I think how much easier life is getting just at this point with one child being able to do things for himself and the other getting to the point where he doesn’t need to eat all day or be changed ten times. Life is getting easier. Do I really want to interrupt that?
We’d also have to buy a new, big car in order to hold 3 car seats. We’d have to travel to England with 3 kids instead of 2, and having 5 of us (plus 1 dog) in a 950 square house would feel a bit beyond claustrophobic.
Yet then I consider the idea of starting to sell/give away the baby items that Ez has already outgrown and go back to mourning and not being ready.
Am I a flake or what??
So I asked Ryde what he thought. He first told me that Ezzy was his baby, and then when I asked him if he wanted two babies, he said yes. But he wants everything in sets of two right now, so he’s not really a reliable opinion.
Therefore, to any moms (who are settled and beyond the point of not having any more kids and who might be reading this) – do you regret not having more kids?
And before I end this, I do realize that with age and time, we’re not even guaranteed to get pregnant again. I also realize that God can work in wonderfully interesting ways as well, and I do have a husband who has an opinion, which is just as valid as mine – minus that he doesn’t have to go through pregnancy and labor. 🙂