I have a few more thoughts to finish up the “baby dilemma” post as I’ve continued to think on all of this . . .
First, I recognize that many couples aren’t able to conceive or struggle through it, and they would take as many babies as they could have. I actually have a handful of friends in this boat. They’re each using different options to pursue having a child – some through a surrogate mother, some through fertility treatments, and some through adoption. So I don’t take how easy my boys were conceived lightly. Nor do I take the health of my children lightly nor do I take for granted the thought that says oh, we’ll easily conceive another child. I love the thought of adoption; I just don’t love the thought of the expense or paperwork as it brings back immigration nightmares . . .
I also know that the average first time mom in Boulder, CO is 37 years old. So in some circles, I’m still quite young. 🙂 I don’t mean to discourage any moms who are older than I am either. I just would have to seriously work out before the next baby as 4 hours of pushing for a non-active person such as myself was not expected or good planning on my part. 😉
So really, it comes down to two questions for us. 1.) Am I willing to go through pregnancy/childbirth again? The midwives that delivered both my kids felt that I shouldn’t deal with either preeclampsia or a super long labor/delivery again. They guessed that a third baby would be born after 10 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing (half the time of Ezra). That’s their best guess . . . obviously no one can predict any of that. Whether or not I would tear badly, the placenta would get stuck again, or a c-section would be needed, only God knows that. So it’s a whole trusting God issue. I really can’t even think about being pregnant again or going through labor right now as my memories of Ezzy are still too clear. 🙂
2.) We would have to change jobs and cars. We could possibly stay in this house until the boys hit about 5 and could no longer fit in their shared little room. However, dragging kids to work and to cleaning jobs would no longer be an option with 3. I would possibly have a nervous breakdown if we tried to attempt it. So I’d have to find a work from home job, and Mark would have to change jobs or find a work from home second job. Again, it’s a prayer/seeking God and then trusting Him question. As is the payment of the baby’s birth – God would have to provide. And He did provide the finances for both kids and their births.
So to end this, I would say that if questions 1 and 2 were resolved or not issues to begin with, I think Mark and I would be all for another child as we originally wanted 4 kids. 🙂 It’s just a matter now of presenting all of this before the Lord and then deciding how we should proceed. So I guess in 6 months or so, we’ll all know the answer. Or who knows, maybe at 37 I’ll get a wild hair and decide to go for having a little girl. 😉
And very last thing, if we did decide to go for it, we already have a third son’s name picked out. I don’t want to sound like I would be devastated if we had a third boy. I’d be disappointed, but I wouldn’t go into it without being ready to love and dote on number 3 just like I have with number 1 and 2. I would just be one very busy, active mom who might need a lot more girl time than I currently get.
Thanks to all who read my thoughts and who give their thoughts in return. I value it highly!