the love of God

[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] A [/dropcap]startling theme in my life lately (and I say startling because it’s coming at me from everywhere) is God’s love.

This life is all about His love.
The only thing of importance in life is His love.
God’s love is what moves us.
If we don’t know God’s love, we cannot love others.
God’s love is the starting point of all ministries, including the first ministry, which is our household.
God’s love.
God’s great love for us.
God’s great love for me as an individual.
God’s love. Read more

opportunities are available

[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] S [/dropcap]undays through Tuesdays are hard days at our house. We have church, cleaning jobs, work on Monday, Bible school, work and preschool on Tuesday, and on it goes. We’re out of the house through much of those three days, and on Mondays I have the boys from 8am to 9pm. It’s just long and tiring. It’s not easy getting two little ones out the door, especially by 8am. And I’m not organized or relaxed or anything that resembles the put together mom. I tend to be the yelling, stressed, pulling my hair out mom with lots of mommy guilt.

So last night, I put the boys to bed early and then just left the messes that were everywhere and switched on my iBethel app on the ipad and watched Bill Johnson preach. He’s been working through a series on fulfilling your dreams, and this was the last part to it. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. Very deflating. Not what I wanted to hear. Yet I heard him . . . if you have a two year old in your house, you ask a lot of “Do you hear me?!” Well, I hear me . . . him . . . truth. Read more

time to start knocking on doors

[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] S [/dropcap]o March and April have been quite challenging for the little Hayden family. Fridge was pouring water out the bottom on a weekly basis and had to get replaced. Wash machine was (literally) shaking the house down and not getting clothes cleaned until they’d been through 3 cycles. Hot water heater broke and would not stay on. My car sounds horrendous, and everytime I park some place, I hope the person next to me doesn’t say hey, maybe you should have your car checked out? Our back gate had about blown away during the last windstorm, and our newly planted raspberry and blueberry bushes were dug up by a certain Siberian, which proved that a new “garden fence” was needing to be built. And have I mentioned that we’ve been in the refinancing process for all of March and April? If I could fire the company we’re working with, I would have back in March. Not to mention that we also just purchased 3 airline tickets to the UK. Our bank is broke. We broke our bank. Read more


[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] I [/dropcap]’m jumping into the middle of a long story, so the short of it is that lately I’ve been pondering my life and gifts/callings. It’s very interesting to be 34 years old and to look back at the 8 year old me, the 18 year old me, the 25 year old me, and now the 34 year old me. Life has not happened in any way that I ever thought it would, and I’ve rolled with it. Yet I’ve had this deep sense that it’s time to live fully with eternity in mind. So that’s led to a lot of praying and lots of requests for wisdom.

Therefore, I thought it would be good to get all of this out on the table as I’m figuring some things out about myself. Read more

changing it up…

[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] S [/dropcap]o as I’ve repeatedly said (or whined), our 950 square foot house is mega-claustrophobic with two adults, two kids, and one dog. I simply do not have people over due to this fact. I can’t breathe in it, let alone invite more people so that none of us can breathe . . . . yet we’re stuck with it. And I’ve had weeks of telling my dear husband that we either get rid of half our belongings or I’m moving. That’s what happens when you marry an overdramatic, tightly strung female. You get threatened with ridiculous statements. But in all seriousness, I cannot stand it anymore. The other day, I went to unplug something behind the couch and tripped on some random item only to hit my head on the corner of a wall shelf and seriously about knocked myself out. It almost hurt worse than labor, and I had a cut and goose egg on my head for over a week. If that doesn’t tell you that the house is cluttered, then I don’t know what would. The only way to live in a little house is to keep it tidy and organized, and we have yet to do that. Thank the Lord that summer is coming as the boys and I can spend most of our afternoons in the back yard. Read more