[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] S[/dropcap]o my husband wasn’t impressed with my self photo skills . . . I apologize for the lack of quality photography on this site; it’s just not in my skill set. And someday, I’ll have to explain to Baby why we have very few pictures of her in Mommy’s tummy . . .
Anyway, rough day yesterday with feeling very ready to have this baby and lots of signs that she is coming. I had my weekly check up and they confirmed that my body is getting ready. But still could be tomorrow or next week before she comes; always what a pregnant lady wants to hear. Still in the waiting game.
And since I can’t seem to sleep, but am instead wide awake at 4am, I’ve been getting up to read the Word, eat, drink water, clean, etc. It’s been so great to have quiet time. I’m wondering why I don’t do this on a regular basis . . . by the way, I went into labor with both boys at 4am. Is that a sign?
So I’ve had a chance to work through all my labor/delivery anxiety. I’ve prayed a lot; Mark and I have have been praying together at night, which has been really good and has helped to calm my nerves. We’ve talked through what we need to focus on while in the delivery room; made sure that we’ll be on the same page. He was in the middle of a job interview the last time I went into labor, so we clearly outlined how there will be no outside distractions this time! I convinced him to finally start packing his bag. And I’ve been talking to my sensitive big boy about how EdieB. is coming, Mommy will be in the hospital for two days or so, and when I come home, Eden will come home. We tell him what a great big brother he’ll be, and I think he’s feeling pretty confident. He’s been wetting the bed a lot over the past two weeks, and I don’t know if it’s anxiety for him or not. I’m guessing it is because he deeply feels what’s going on around him, and I have not been myself. I know that does not go by unnoticed. He got up at 4am to use the potty this morning, and then he was up again at 7am to lay on the couch with me while we chatted. I love my firstborn so very much; he makes my heart want to burst . . .
Yet I feel for my kids when their little world gets so changed, but I know that siblings are always a good thing. R may not feel that a sister is a good thing now, but he will someday. My two year old is a whole different story as he’s very much in Ezzy’s world right now . . . so I haven’t bothered with talking to him about much. If his big brother does well, he’ll follow him and do well. The two of them are like two sides of the same coin, and E looks up to his big brother in everything. Not sure how EB will fit into the combo, but I think she’ll do all right . . .
It’s always amazing to me how God has made us so capable of adjusting. We’re quite flexible, adaptable individuals if we don’t fight it. Transitioning from a family of boys to a family of boys + girl will be different, but it will bring so much more depth. And isn’t that how it always goes? Anytime we allow God to bring us into something new, more depth is added. Yes, it can be difficult. It requires a lot of submission, trust, allowing Him to move us out of the old box and into the new, but I’ve learned that it’s almost always good. Stepping out with Him is always worthwhile, and I keep telling myself that the next few months will be a big time of transition, but we’ve got His help and wisdom. He didn’t put a baby girl on our hearts (over 6 years ago) for no reason. He dreamed her up first, and then gave us the desire. So we’re going with it . . .
Lastly, it’s been amazing how well we’ve been able to see the baby and her movements. Yesterday while in the midwives’ office, they commented on how I could feel her back if I wanted. So they showed me how she’s lying and then showed me where to put my hands to feel along her back and spine. So wild!!! Kind of creepy to me, yet so amazing. They then chuckled (again) at her feisty side as she does not like when they feel to see how she’s positioned. It will be so great to see her outside of the womb and to put what we know of her already together with what we haven’t been able to see. She truly has been the most interesting, active, visible, feisty of my three. I hope she keeps the feisty side, but in balance . . . We can’t wait to meet her.