I’m convinced that it’s necessary in life for us to do something that we love on an ongoing basis. However, the circumstances of life don’t always allow for us to do that, which is the stage that I’ve been in. I’ve gone through a very dry season of working, taking care of baby, working on the weekends, and keeping house. And I’ve come to love parenting, I no longer complain about the cleaning jobs, I get up every morning and get Ryder and myself ready to go to work, and for the most part, I’ve kept a very good attitude. I’ve come a long ways. 🙂 My heart has been to do all my jobs as unto the Lord, and He has been gracious in helping me to do that.
Lately though, I’m finding myself to be very restless. I’m finding that I don’t do anything that remotely resembles me. Mark would confirm that as he can read me well enough to say that his wife is needing her creative outlet. And he doesn’t nag me and tell me what I already know. He just quietly encourages me to find it. He’s even willing for us to get another student loan so that I can finish my master’s degree and get the job that I really want. (I am not willing to take on more student loan debt, but I appreciate his offer.) So I’ve been exploring other options of things that I could do (cheaply), and I actually have a few ideas. However, they’ll require a lot of discipline on my part. And discipline has not been my thing lately. Yet the idea of needing to be disciplined for a specific purpose is very appealing to me. The idea of doing something that inspires me, that brings out my passions, that allows for me to feel like me is very exciting. I love going to school for the very reason of having to live a disciplined life AND getting to learn and grow in the midst of it.
So I’m headed towards something. I just don’t know what it is. I don’t know if I can get it done before the second baby (who might possibly have a boy and a girl’s name now) arrives, but at least it’s something. At least it’s something hopeful that gives me some encouragement that all the gifts and talents that lie within me may not dry up and go completely to waste. At least I have some ideas as I didn’t have any a few months ago. So hopefully this blog will be continued in the near future, and you’ll get to hear the rest of this story.