[dropcap style=”font-size: 60px; color: #9b9b9b;”] S [/dropcap]o March and April have been quite challenging for the little Hayden family. Fridge was pouring water out the bottom on a weekly basis and had to get replaced. Wash machine was (literally) shaking the house down and not getting clothes cleaned until they’d been through 3 cycles. Hot water heater broke and would not stay on. My car sounds horrendous, and everytime I park some place, I hope the person next to me doesn’t say hey, maybe you should have your car checked out? Our back gate had about blown away during the last windstorm, and our newly planted raspberry and blueberry bushes were dug up by a certain Siberian, which proved that a new “garden fence” was needing to be built. And have I mentioned that we’ve been in the refinancing process for all of March and April? If I could fire the company we’re working with, I would have back in March. Not to mention that we also just purchased 3 airline tickets to the UK. Our bank is broke. We broke our bank.

It’s time to make some changes in our lives as we’re not financially making it. Home ownership has proven to be a costly endeavor.

And it’s time to get off my rear, shut my mouth, and start knocking on some new doors of opportunity. If I was one to research great quotes about nothing endeavored is nothing gained or something similar, I would insert them here. But I’m not. However, I am one to realize that if you keep trying the same old thing and expect different results, you’re nuts. And it drives you nuts. So the least I can do is try new things until we hit the right thing, which requires work, but hopefully, it’ll pay off.

A few days ago, Mark and I were driving to our second cleaning job, and I said, “Mark for the first time in our married lives, I feel hope.” Not that our circumstances say hope, because they don’t. Not that anything gives us any reason for hope. But as Mark pointed out, our attitudes (mine especially), our faith, and our expectation levels are up, all of which leads to hope. We’re not going to be in this struggling, barely surviving season our whole lives. There is greenery on the horizon. There is joy in all of this as there is hope. He is mindful of us.

It makes such a difference to live life with your head up, looking forward, rather than down and navel gazing. Micah, the champion of moaners, is laying down her title and working towards a new one – the champion of hope. 🙂

The words above were written on Friday, and seeing how I wasn’t able to get around to posting those words, I have a few more to add:

We attend the first service at our church, and yesterday’s service was unlike any before. I’ve been trying to put things into words to describe it, and I can’t find the words. All I can say is that God did so much. He worked so many things into one service. I didn’t want to leave at the end; I wanted to just sit and absorb until it was all concretely solid within me. Yet we had to go. So Mark, Ezra, and I headed into downtown Boulder to clean. We decided to quickly stop at a cafe for breakfast/lunch, and Mark and I got some quality time to share what God has been doing in us. We were able to talk about things that we’ve been praying about, able to discuss which doors we should start knocking on, and able to just get on the same page. Marriage works so much better when you’re both headed in the same direction together. We had a great time talking, great time of encouraging each other, and a great time of sharing hopes and dreams. And that’s what makes the broken refrigerators, hassles of refinancing, daily headaches and stresses all seem minor in the light of everything else. It’s our attitude and our determination to press in and to move forward that keeps us going. It’s the things that God works within us that keep us going.

And as Mark pointed out, this has been a year of new things . . . new fridge, new wash machine, new hot water heater . . . 🙂 God’s got lots of new, good things in store for us.

I love this picture of Mark and me as it reminds me of the time period when it was taken. We had just moved back to the US, just moved into a new house, and were newly expecting a great gift, a certain young man named Ryder. I feel that hope within me now, and it’s good!!

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